


Winter Green Tic Tac

by sochill



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: M/M, Pining Idiots, everyone is gay and dumb, rich and michael medeling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-19
Updated: 2020-07-10
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:20:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 10,879
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24267316
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sochill/pseuds/sochill
Summary: Jeremy takes Rich's advice and buys a squip. Only... nothing happens. Turns out he bought a fake. But now he wants to know why Rich was acting so weird.
Relationships: Jake Dillinger/Rich Goranski, Jeremy Heere/Michael Mell
Comments: 51
Kudos: 250





	1. $400 Down the Drain

**Author's Note:**

> You ever sit around and wonder... what if Jeremy DID buy a tic tac tho….

“How do you feel?” Michael leaned forward.

“Like… a chump!” Jeremy dropped his head into his hands.

“Nothing?” Michael groaned. “Try to say something cool.”

“I think I just blew my bar mitzvah money on a winter green tic tac.”

“Not cool.” Michael sighed.

“God I’m so stupid!” Jeremy kicked the table.

“You’re not stupid. You were blinded by the lure of popularity.” Michael rubbed his back.

“I should’ve known it was too good to be true.”

“Hey cheer up.” Michael poked him. “You still have me.”

Jeremy gave him a weak smile. “Yeah.”

“Come on Jer, it’s not a big deal. Why would you want Rich to like you anyway?”

“I know. It just would’ve been nice okay?” He snapped.

“Don’t be mopey.” Michael rolled his eyes. “Popularity is overrated anyway.”

“You _would_ stay that.” Jeremy grumbled.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means,” Jeremy shoved his chair back. “You love feeling superior. You think you’re better than everyone else because you listen to music on vinyl and eat eel in your sushi and don’t care about being popular!”

The sudden outburst surprised Michael. “Of course I care.” He tilted his head at Jeremy. “I just know it’s never gonna happen.”

“Oh what so now you’re just gonna be annoyed and resent me because I didn’t give up like you did?”

“What the hell are you talking about Jeremy? I don’t resent you.” Michael frowned. “I’m jealous you tried.”

“Well I’m jealous you don’t!” Jeremy’s shoulders sagged and he sank back into his chair. Michael looked at him. “You’re always so sure of everything. And so happy with yourself.”

“No I’m not.” Michael said softly. Jeremy looked over at him. “I know I’m a loser and a geek and a weirdo. But it doesn’t matter. Because I get to be all those things with you. So who cares what anyone else thinks?”

“I know. And you know I love you and all. But our lives still kinda suck. And I don’t get how you can just brush it off so easily.”

“Because I can handle anything as long as we’re together.” Michael flushed and coughed. “I mean you know, as long as we’re friends.”

Jeremy didn’t seem to notice his embarrassment. “Really?”

“Yeah! I mean, the only reason I don’t care is because I have you. If I was alone, I’d totally save up for one of those things. But I’m not alone. Any social status is worth it if I get to be your player two.” He nudged Jeremy’s shoulder.

Jeremy looked at him, wide eyed. “You think you’re _my_ player two?”

“Well,” Michael shrugged. “Yeah.”

Jeremy smiled. “Thanks Michael. For coming with me. And for putting up with me all these years. Sorry we wasted all day doing this.”

“Don’t worry about it. You wanna come over and play Apocalypse?”

They were two hours in when Jeremy paused the game.

“Hey, I was just thinking.” He fiddled with his controller. “If the squips aren’t real, then what was wrong with Rich?”

“What’s wrong with him is he’s a dick.” Michael rolled his eyes. “He just wanted to fuck with you Jeremy.”

“No you didn’t see him Michael.” Jeremy insisted. “There was something… off about him.”

Michael shrugged. “We can go talk to him tomorrow if you want. But if he kicks our asses,” He narrowed his eyes at Jeremy. “I’m gonna kick your ass.”

“Hey Rich.” Jeremy tried to keep his voice casual as they approached Rich at school the next day. Michael had, unsuccessfully, tried to talk Jeremy out of this confrontation one last time when they arrived but Jeremy was positive something was wrong with Rich.

“Hey. Where’s my money tall ass?” Rich shoved Jeremy into the lockers.

Michael shoved Rich backwards.

“Brought your boyfriend for protection?” Rich laughed. He didn’t back down even though Michael was nearly a foot taller than him.

“I bought a squip!” Jeremy squeaked.

“You did?”

“Yeah. But it didn’t work.”

“What?” Rich frowned.

“I went and saw your guy at JC Penny and-”

“It was Payless idiot!” Rich rolled his eyes.

“Oh.”

“Just buy one from me.”

“I don’t have any money left.” Jeremy sighed.

“Also,” Michael jumped in, shooting Jeremy a look. “We’re a little concerned that maybe these things aren’t… you know… real.”

“Well buy one and you’ll find out that they are.” Rich said through gritted teeth.

“And if you’re just crazy?” Michael raised an eyebrow.

“I’m not.”

“Prove it then.” Jeremy said.

“I can’t prove it Jeremy.” Rich rounded on him. “It’s inside my head.” His smile faltered. “All the time.”

Suddenly, Richard Goranski, the kid that had been relentlessly bullying them for two years, looked like he was about to cry.

“Rich,” Michael said softly. Rich looked at him. “Do you want it… _out_ of your head?”

Rich opened his mouth and then winced, clutching the back of his head. His eyes darted to the left. Then he straightened up and looked up at them with the same wide, scared eyes.

“No way man. This is the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

Michael didn’t buy that for a second. He glanced at Jeremy to confirm they were on the same page.

“Rich-” Jeremy started but Rich grabbed him by the shoulders.

“We should hang out. The three of us.” He looked a little insane. “We can drink.”

“Rich we were just trying to-”

“Jeremy. We should hang out. I’ll have more to say to you, when I’m drunk.” His eyes drilled into Jeremy’s. He twitched slightly.

Jeremy nodded, he looked scared. “Uh, okay.”

“We can go to my house after school. My moms work till 8.” Michael suggested. He felt better once Rich released his death grip from Jeremy’s shoulders.

Rich nodded. “Meet you guys after school.” Then he rushed away from them, grabbing at his head.

Rich was silent in the back seat of Michael’s PT Cruiser as they drove home. He refused to say anything until they reached Michael’s house. He opened a beer bottle Michael had smuggled down from his fridge and chugged the whole thing. He gagged slightly but he looked less paranoid when he finished.

“Okay.” He sighed. “It’s off. Alcohol messes it up.”

“Ooookay.” Michael said. “So um, you wanna tell us what’s going on?”

“It’s real.” Rich said. “You bought a fake. But they are real. They get into your brain and they like, take over. They can control you and read your thoughts and it’s awful it’s so awful.” He was starting to tear up now, tugging at his hair. Jeremy looked at Michael who was equally horrified.

“What does it do?” Michael asked.

“Everything. It makes you smarter. It tells you what to say, it knows everything. It knows how to get you anything you want just by telling you how to act and what to say. It can flip your whole life around.”

“Huh.” Michael frowned.

“I’m sorry I almost made you get one Jeremy.” Rich looked genuinely guilty which was strange for him. “She told me I had to.”

“She?” Jeremy frowned.

“My squip. She was going to hurt me if I didn’t get you to buy one.”

“It’s okay Rich, really. I didn’t get one. No harm done.”

“I want it out Jeremy. I hate it. But I can’t stop it.”

“Well it’s a computer. There has to be some way to turn it off. Right Michael?” Jeremy turned but Michael was at his desk, loading up world of warcraft. “Seriously? You’re playing video games right now?” He yelled.

“Ssshh!” Michael waved him off. He put on his headset. “Philip hey. Can I ask you something about your brother? The one you said got kicked out of high school but then got into Harvard.” He shot Jeremy a meaningful look.

Jeremy raised his eyebrows. There was a muffled reply from Michael’s headphones.

“Yeah. Have you ever heard of… a squip?" He paused, waiting for a response. “Yeah. My number is…”


	2. New Friends

An hour later the three boys (Rich now two beers in) were sitting in a circle around Michael’s phone which was on speaker while Philip told them about his brother.

“Yeah he got it from some shady dude at the mall by our house.” Philip said. “He used to be this stoner slacker dude. He got kicked out of school for doing coke in the bathroom. Then one day he gets a haircut, goes back to school and all the sudden he has an interview with the dean of admissions at Harvard. My parents were thrilled. Didn’t even notice how sketchy it was.”

“That doesn’t sound so bad.” Jeremy mumbled.

“Tell them where he is now.” Michael shot Jeremy a glare. He knew Jeremy was still considering it.

“He’s uh,” Philip took a shaky breath. “He’s in a mental hospital.”

“It made him go crazy?” Rich’s eyes widened.

“No. He went crazy trying to get it out. Said it was destroying him. Made him want to die.” Philip cleared his throat. “Anyway I gotta go. Goodluck with everything.”

“Wait!” Michael picked up the phone.

“What?”

“How did he end up getting it out?”

“Oh. Mountain Dew Red. You know that old version from like the 90s? That shuts it off.”

“Perfect. Thanks dude.” Michael hung up.

“Perfect?” Rich groaned. “They discontinued that like 20 years ago.”

“Don’t worry. I’ll take care of it.” Michael patted his shoulder. “In the meantime, try to stay sane and not convert anyone else okay?”

“Okay.” Rich stood up. “Hey, maybe you guys should hang out with me. You know, to kinda keep watch.”

“Would your friends uh,” Jeremy glanced at Michael. “Be okay with that?”

“Oh yeah.” Rich waved his hand. “If I say you’re cool they won’t care.”

“Okay,” Michael shrugged. “Sure.”

“Thanks guys. For everything. I owe you.”

He told them he could feel the squip reactivating so he left in a hurry.

“That was… weird.” Michael shook his head and sat on the couch.

Jeremy sat next to him. “I almost took one.” He whispered.

“Yeah. But you didn’t.”

“But I did! I mean, I _did_ take one Michael. If I hadn’t gone to the wrong store… I’d have one in my head right now.” His eyes were watering.

“But you didn’t.” Michael wrapped his arms around Jeremy who started to cry. “You don’t have one. Hey, it’s okay Jer.”

“I could’ve turned into Rich.” He sobbed. “I could’ve been a dick to you and left you and you would’ve been alone. I could’ve… I could’ve fucked everything up.”

“Jeremy, look at me.” Michael grabbed his shoulders. Jeremy wiped his eyes and looked up at Michael. “You don’t have one. You’re here and I’m here. There’s no use crying over what could have happened right?” He squeezed Jeremy’s shoulder. “It’s okay.”

Jeremy nodded. He leaned against Michael’s chest, burying his face in Michael’s hoodie. Michael was glad Jeremy couldn’t see how hard he was blushing. He rested his chin on Jeremy’s head. Jeremy hummed.

“You’re the best.” He mumbled.

“I know.” Michael smiled.

“Hey tall ass!”

Jeremy flinched.

“Sorry.” Rich held up his hands. “Old habits.” He waved them over to his locker. “You guys know Jake and Brooke, right?”

“Uh, I think so.” Jeremy waved.

“Who’s this?” Brooke cocked an eyebrow. Michael didn’t miss the way her eyes lingered on Jeremy.

“This is Jeremy and Michael.” Rich leaned against his locker. “Don’t worry, they’re cool.”

“Sick.” Jake nodded. “You guys having lunch with us?”

“Uuuh…” Michael looked to Rich who nodded. “Yeah, I guess. If you guys are okay with it.”

“Hell yeah. Anyone Rich says is cool is cool.” Jake rested his arm on Rich’s shoulder. Michael thought he caught a blush on Rich’s cheeks but he turned away too quickly.

“Oh. Chloe!” Brooke waved her best friend over. “This is Jeremy and Michael. They’re gonna hang with us at lunch.”

Chloe surveyed them slowly. “Why?”

“They’re Rich’s friends.” Brooke shrugged. Michael couldn’t help but notice she _still_ hadn’t taken her eyes off of Jeremy.

“Yeah and you don’t own the lunch table princess.” Rich smirked. The bell rang. “See you guys later.”

Lunch was strange. For the most part, the group at the table didn’t even notice they were there. They all talked and laughed like normal. Jeremy and Michael exchanged whispered comments here and there, sometimes with Rich, sometimes just between each other. No one seemed to pay any mind to them except Brooke who alternated between agreeing with whatever Chloe was saying and asking Jeremy all kinds of questions and giggling at whatever he replied with.

“Hey!” Jake leaned around Rich to see them. “You guys should totally come to my Halloween party on Friday. It’s gonna be the biggest party of the fall!” He fist pumped.

“Oh, I mean- I-I don’t know.” Jeremy stammered.

“They’ll be there.” Rich said, shooting them a look.

When lunch ended Rich waved his friends on ahead of him and hung back to talk to Jeremy and Michael.

“How’s that drink coming?” He asked.

“Um, I’ll have it soon. Maybe Monday.”

Rich groaned. “Monday? That’s almost a week away.”

“I’m sorry!” Michael shrugged. “Sometimes it takes a while for my hook up to get it. And Mounta-”

Rich suddenly began coughing very loudly and violently shaking his head at Michael.

“Um.” Michael floundered. “Pepsi Crystal is really hard to get.”

“Okay. Just, let me know as soon as you get it. Okay?”

Michael nodded. Rich hurried off to catch up with his friends.

After school Jeremy and Michael finally got a break from their new popular lifestyle. They sat in Michael’s PT Cruiser for a while in the parking lot.

“This is crazy right?” Jeremy was bouncing his leg. “I mean, it’s crazy right?”

“It’s pretty weird.” Michael agreed. He reached over and put his hand on Jeremy’s knee. “Stop shaking your leg.”

Jeremy stared at his hand. Michael felt his face heat up and yanked his hand away.

“Anyway!” He gripped the steering wheel. “Whose house today?”

Michael’s house, they decided and hurried down to the basement upon arriving.

“Kinda weird hanging out with the popular kids.” Jeremy commented as Michael flipped through his records, looking for something to play. Jeremy laid on the floor and stared up at the ceiling. “They’re nicer than I thought they’d be.” He added.

“Yeah.” Michael finally found something and music crackled through the speakers. He laid down next to Jeremy, his feet by Jeremy’s head. “I guess when you think about it, Rich was the only one who went out of his way to be an asshole.”

“You think I would’ve turned out like that?” Jeremy asked quietly.

“Nah.” Michael propped himself up on his elbows to look at Jeremy. “You wouldn’t have the guts to do half the shit Rich does.” He laughed.

Jeremy was quiet. “Maybe if I had a squip I would. I mean, isn’t that the point?”

“I guess.” Michael frowned. “Do you think you would’ve stopped talking to me?”

Jeremy didn’t respond, he just kept staring at the ceiling. Michael laid back down and turned his eyes toward it too, humming softly along to the song that was playing to stop himself from thinking about the answer Jeremy didn’t say out loud.


	3. A Halloween Party's a Rad Excuse to Put Your Body Through Mad Abuse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ie: the longest title I've ever used

“Have either of you ever been to a party before?” Rich asked as they walked out of school on Friday afternoon.

“Yes!” Jeremy said at the same time Michael snorted and said, “No.”

“We have not Jeremy.” Michael elbowed him.

“Well, I know I said as long as you’re with me you’re cool, but try not to act like giant dweebs okay?”

“We’ll do our best.” Michael rolled his eyes.

“Alright see you guys tonight.” Rich pointed as he started across the parking lot towards Jake’s car. “Ten o’clock!”

“Ten o’clock!” Michael called back.

Michael and Jeremy decided to kill the time by playing video games at Jeremy’s house. After getting his ass kicked repeatedly, Michael opted to lay on Jeremy’s bed and scroll through twitter while Jeremy played some single player game.

“Hey!” Michael sat up. “Our Mountain Dew Red is ready.”

“Really? I thought he said Monday.”

“He said that was the latest. Always better to have it earlier than later. That’s good customer service.” Michael informed him.

“Ah.” Jeremy nodded, pausing his game.

Michael stood up from Jeremy’s bed, cracking his back. “Come on let’s go get it.”

“That’ll be a nice Halloween gift for Rich.” Jeremy laughed.

They returned a short half hour later and Michael was once again sprawled across Jeremy’s bed.

“What do I wear?” Jeremy dug through his closet. A six pack of Mountain Dew Red sat at the foot of Jeremy’s bed near Michael’s feet.

“I dunno Jer.” Michael was scrolling through his phone. “Wear a costume.”

Jeremy frowned at him. “You’re not.”

“Sure I am.” Michael gestured to the crushed can he had taped to the arm of his CREEPS sweater. “I’m a trash monster.”

“You’re a loser.” Jeremy rolled his eyes.

“Oh no!” Michael fake gasped. “Am I not cool enough for you now?”

“Ha ha.” Jeremy deadpanned. He tugged at Michael’s arm. “Come on help me.”

Michael groaned and let Jeremy drag him off the bed.

He ended up in a lazy cyborg costume. A little face makeup courtesy of the ever-artistic Michael Mell, and a robot t shirt he forgot he owned.

“Let’s go, it’s 10:30.” Michael twirled his keys around his finger. “Rich is probably already there.”

Jeremy looked at him for a minute, halfway through stuffing a bottle of Mountain Dew Red in his backpack.

“What?” Michael frowned, pushing him toward the stairs.

“Nothing. It’s just weird to hear you say that. Like Rich is our friend.”

“I mean,” Michael shrugged. “He kinda is now.”

“Huh.” Jeremy closed the door behind them. “I guess so.”

The party was in full swing when they arrived. People were drunk, music was blasting, and Rich was missing. Well, according to a very drunk Brooke he was.

“Yeah haven’t seen him in a while.” She slurred. “Hey Jeremy, you wanna get out of here?” Her hand was on his chest which made Michael clench his jaw.

“Uh,” Jeremy’s face went red. “I just got here actually.”

Brooke giggled. “You are too cute!”

“Thanks.” Jeremy stepped back. “Uh, Michael!” He waved goodbye to Brooke and shoved Michael into the next room.

“Where the hell is he?” Michael stood on his toes to see as far across the room as he could.

“Who you lookin’ for?” Jenna Rolan asked from beside them. She was holding a drink but she looked more sober than half the people there.

“Oh,” Michael glanced at Jeremy. “Rich. You seen him?”

“Rich is in the garage I think.” Jenna pointed down the hall.

“Thanks!” Michael grabbed Jeremy and dragged him away from the pounding music.

They stepped into the garage and saw Rich immediately. He was hunched over, shaking and muttering to himself.

“Rich?” Jeremy called. “What’cha got there?”

Rich turned around. He was holding a container of gasoline.

“I need it out Jeremy!” Tears spilled down his face. “I can’t do this. I need it out NOW!”

“We can get it out Rich remember?” Jeremy held his hands out like he was calming a wild animal.

“I can’t wait that long.” Rich shook his head violently. “I need it out now. Now!” He dissolved into sobs.

“Rich!” Michael spun Jeremy around and unzipped his backpack. “We have it now.” Rich’s head snapped up. “Give me the gasoline and I’ll give you this.” He held out the bottle. Rich’s eyes widened and then he winced in pain, dropping the canister.

Michael shoved Jeremy forward. “Get the gas.”

Jeremy reached out and took the canister from a still twitching Rich.

“You have to…” He clutched his head again. “You have to make me drink it. She won’t let me.” He grunted and squeezed his eyes shut.

“Uh, okay.” Michael glanced at Jeremy. “I’ll hold him down and you make him drink?”

Jeremy nodded.

Pinning Rich to the floor wasn’t the hardest task given his size, but he still put up a good fight when Jeremy tried to shove the bottle in his mouth. Finally though, they managed to get a few gulps down his throat at which point Rich started screaming bloody murder.

Jeremy and Michael both scrambled to let go of him as he twitched and writhed on the ground. Then, he fell silent and lay completely still on the floor.


	4. The New Old Rich

“Check if he’s dead.” Michael nudged Jeremy forward again.

“Why me?” Jeremy moved back.

“Fine!” Michael kneeled down and pressed his fingers to Rich’s neck. “He’s alive.”

“What do we do?”

“I don’t know!” Michael stood up and started pacing. “Look, my moms are gone this weekend. Let’s just… take him back to my house and then maybe he’ll wake up in the morning.”

“Shouldn’t we take him to the hospital?”

“And tell them what?” Michael raised his eyebrows and waited. Jeremy open and then closed his mouth. “Exactly. Come on grab his feet.”

They had almost made it to the door free and clear (carrying an unconscious person out of a house party wasn’t exactly uncommon) but they were stopped just before they made their escape.

“Hey what happened?” Jake asked. He was surprisingly composed.

“Uuuuh.” Jeremy looked to Michael.

“He had too much to drink.” Michael forced a laugh. “We were just gonna take him to my house to sleep it off. And take care of him you know?”

“Can I come?”

“Isn’t this… your party?” Jeremy raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah.” Jake shrugged. “But I don’t care what happens here. I just want to make sure Rich is okay.”

Jeremy glanced at Michael who shrugged.

“Okay.” He nodded toward the driveway. “Sure. Come on.”

The drive from Jake’s house was only a few minutes and Rich started to regain consciousness as they moved him down to the basement couch.

“Hey Jake.” Michael called. “You mind getting him some water for when he wakes up?”

“Yeah sure.” Jake hurried up the stairs as Rich finally started blinking hazily at them.

“Hey Rich.” Jeremy sat on the floor by his head. “How’s your head?”

“Hurts like a bitch.” He groaned.

Jeremy and Michael both turned to look at each other in shock.

“Yeah I know.” He rolled his eyes. “I have a lisp haha.”

“We weren’t gonna laugh.” Michael said. “It was just a surprise.”

“Whatever. I’m just glad that things out of my brain.”

“Hey um, Rich.” Jeremy tapped his hand on his leg. “Can I ask? Why did you get the squip in the first place?”

“Like I told you,” He shrugged. “I used to be a loser freshman year. I had no friends. No one ever noticed me.”

“I noticed you.”

Rich’s head whipped around to the stairs where Jake was returning with a cup of water.

“What?” Rich blushed furiously.

“Yeah.” Jake handed him the glass. “Freshman year. You were, I think, like two lockers down from me. You used to always wear that green hoodie.” Jake started to get a soft smile on his face. “And you had a lisp, like that. I always thought it was cute.” He added. Michael noticed then that Jake was a little drunk.

Rich’s face looked like it was going to burst into flames. “Oh.”

“And then one day you showed up and you were all different. Not that it was bad, just… different. All confident and cocky,” He smirked. Then, his eyebrows drew together slightly. “And the lisp was gone. And then we just sorta started hanging out.”

“Yeah…” Rich refused to meet Jake’s eye.

“Hey,” Jake put a hand on his shoulder. “I gotta head home and make sure no one burns my house down. Call me tomorrow, okay bro?”

“Yeah sure.” Rich nodded.

It was silent as Jake walked up the stairs.

“You brought Jake with you!” Rich hissed as soon as the door closed.

“He asked to come!” Jeremy held up his hands. “He was worried about you and it’s not like we could ask if you were cool with it!”

Michael sat beside Jeremy on the floor. “He’s a good friend.”

“He’s the reason I took it.” Rich sighed.

“Jake?” Michael frowned.

“Yeah. I mean obviously it wasn’t _just_ about him but… I’ve had a crush on him since seventh grade.” His head snapped up to look them in the eyes. “You tell anyone and you’re dead.”

They both swore they wouldn’t.

“Why didn’t you just, I don’t know,” Jeremy pretended to think. “Tell him. Instead of eating a supercomputer from Japan.”

“I don’t know!” Rich groaned. “He was so cool and popular. And I was… not. And then once I was, we were like best friends. I didn’t want to screw that up with feelings and end up losing him forever you know?”

Michael looked over at Jeremy. “Yeah.” He said softly. Jeremy and Rich both looked at him. “Um, I mean yeah that makes sense.”

“Why don’t you just tell him now?” Jeremy suggested, thankfully turning away from his profusely blushing best friend.

“No way dude!” Rich shook his head.

“Dude he called you cute and left his _own_ party because he was worried about you.” Michael laughed. “I _think_ you might have a shot.”

“He called me bro.”

“It’s a term of endearment!” Michael tried.

“I’m not telling him.” Rich narrowed his eyes. “And neither are you two unless you want your faces rearranged.”

“Calm down we already said we wouldn’t.” Michael rolled his eyes. “Besides we probably won’t be seeing much of Jake around anymore anyway huh?”

“What do you mean?” Rich finally sat up and finished off his water.

Michael glanced at Jeremy. He could tell they were thinking the same thing. “Well, you’re normal again so we don’t have to hang around and make sure you’re okay all the time.”

“So?” Rich looked at them like they were stupid. “It’s more than that by now, I think. We’re friends. And everyone likes you. You guys are part of the squad. Besides, you saved my life. You think I’m just gonna ditch you now?”

Jeremy and Michael both stared at Rich. The Rich they knew would’ve gladly ditched them after they saved his life. But this was the new Rich, well technically it was the old Rich. And he had kind eyes and a big goofy smile and apparently, he didn’t abandon friends.

Jeremy smiled and nudged Michael. “Well I guess we’ll stick around then.”

“Yeah it’ll be cool to have more than one friend.” He laughed. Jeremy pretended to be hurt. “Don’t worry Jer, you’ll always be my favorite.”

“Really?” Jeremy looked at him with big eyes and a fake pout. “I’m youw favowite?”

“Yeah you dork.” Michael shoved him.

Jeremy leaned his head on Michael’s shoulder. “You’re my favorite too.” He mumbled.

Michael blushed. He’d momentarily forgotten Rich was there until he caught him glancing back and forth between them, a mischievous smile working its way onto his face.

Michael cleared his throat and stood up. “Who’s up for a movie?”

Rich didn’t last twenty minutes before he fell asleep. Michael and Jeremy both agreed that was probably for the best. They moved upstairs to Michael’s room so they wouldn’t wake him.

“Rich and Jake huh?” Jeremy laughed, hopping onto the bed.

“I know. I can see it though.”

“Me too.”

“You know,” Michael kicked off his shoes and sprawled out next to Jeremy. “Maybe they would see it too. If they had a little help.”

Jeremy squinted at him. “Michael, I don’t think we should be getting involved.”

“Come on.” Michael sat up. “We both know they’d be great together right?”

“Sure.”

“Right. So if Rich could get it through his thick skull that Jake left his _own_ party just to check up him because he was drunk, then maybe they would stop being babies and just get together.”

Jeremy snorted.

“What?”

“Nothing.” He laughed. “It’s just a little funny to hear _you_ call someone a baby for not admitting their feelings.”

Michael’s stomach twisted horribly. “What?” He choked out.

“You know what I mean.”

“I… I’m…” Michael felt like he couldn’t breathe.

“I mean honestly, have you ever told _anyone_ that you’ve liked that you liked them?”

“Oh.” Michael exhaled and his heart stopped trying to tear out of his chest. “Well, no. But I haven’t liked that many people so.”

“There was Peter.”

“That was third grade that doesn’t count!” Michael hit Jeremy with a pillow.

“What about Sam then?” Jeremy countered. “That was the summer before sophomore year!”

“I met him on vacation! I was never gonna see him again anyway.” Michael waved him off.

“Well what about…” Jeremy paused frowning. “Huh, you haven’t really liked anyone since then have you?”

“Nnnnope.” Michael stared at the wall. The beginning of sophomore year. The year he realized he was irrecoverably in love with one Jeremy Heere.

“What about that kid we had English with last year?” Jeremy pulled Michael out of his thoughts. “Leo or something?”

“Liam.” Michael shook his head. “I didn’t even know him. He was just cute.”

Jeremy nodded. “That he was.” He gasped suddenly. “Hey, now that Rich is out, maybe if things don’t work out with him and Jake, you two could date.”

Michael’s face ignited. He sat up. “ _Rich?_ You want me to date _Rich?_ ”

“Why not?” How very Jeremy of Jeremy to try and set Michael up with the first guy they find who likes guys, except himself.

“How about because he bullied us for two years!”

“Yeah but that wasn’t him. He’s nice now.”

Solid point. “Well, regardless, I just don’t see Rich that way. Plus things _will_ work out with him and Jake.”

“You’re so picky.” Jeremy flopped down onto the bed.

Michael laid beside him. “Am not.”

“Are too!” Jeremy elbowed him. “You’ll settle for nothing less than a tall, suave, handsome man huh?”

“Well, two out of three.” Michael mumbled. Suave was not exactly the first word that came to mind when he thought of Jeremy.

“What?”

“I said shut up.” Michael stood up and began changing for bed. Jeremy laughed.

“Can I sleep in here?” He asked. “I don’t wanna go get the air mattress.”

“Sure.” Michael shrugged.

Usually they set up their beds in the basement, each on an air mattress piled with blankets. Tonight though, Jeremy pulled off his jeans and climbed into Michael’s own bed. It wasn’t the first time they’d shared a bed, but it wasn’t exactly a common occurrence either.

Michael flipped off the lights and slid in next to him, pinning his arms to his side. Luckily, (or maybe unfortunately) for Michael, Jeremy wiggled over to him, pressing his cold feet to Michael’s legs.

“Your feet are freezing.” Michael whispered.

“Your room is freezing.” Jeremy whispered back.

It wasn’t long before Michael heard Jeremy’s breathing slow. He shivered in his sleep and scooted even closer to Michael, burying his face in Michael’s shoulder. Michael prayed he wouldn’t wake Jeremy up and then moved his arm over to pull Jeremy into him. Jeremy didn’t stir except to readjust to the new position. Michael combed lightly through his hair.

“Seriously Michael.” Jeremy mumbled. Michael’s hand froze. “It’s fucking freezing in here.”

“Sorry.” Michael swallowed.

“Why’d you stop?”

“Stop what?”

Jeremy reached up and tapped the hand that was in his hair. “It was relaxing.”

“Oh.” Michael was worried his face would glow in the dark with how hard he was blushing. He slowly resumed his motions. Jeremy hummed and Michael’s shoulder felt cold through his shirt where Jeremy’s nose was. He wasn’t sure he’d ever be able to calm down enough to sleep now.


	5. The Morning After

When the boys woke up the next morning (Michael first who nearly fell off the bed when he realized the weight on his chest was Jeremy’s head) Rich was in the kitchen chugging water.

“I’ve never been,” He panted. “So thirsty in my life. I think that damn computer dehydrated me.”

“Glad you’re feeling better.” Michael laughed, sliding onto a breakfast bar stool.

“Where’s Jeremy?” Rich glanced at the stairs.

“Getting dressed.” Michael eyed him suspiciously. “Why?”

“No reason.” Rich took a long drink of water. “Just went up to see if you guys were awake earlier and noticed you all cuddled up. It was really adorable.” He grinned.

“That wasn’t-!” Michael started but he cut himself off at the sound of feet on the stairs. “That was nothing and you better shut up about it unless you want me to have a fun conversation with Jake.” He hissed.

Rich zipped his lips as Jeremy came into the room.

“Morning. Rich, you look less dead.” He noted.

“I feel great. That sleep did wonders. How ‘bout you Jeremy? How’d _you_ sleep?”

“Good.” Jeremy opened the fridge. Michael lunged across the counter to smack Rich’s arm but he danced away, laughing.

“Well, thank you guys for everything.” Rich got serious. “I really appreciate it. I’ll see you on Monday yeah?”

“Yeah. See you Rich.” Jeremy smiled.

“Bye Rich.” Michael growled, walking him to the door and shoving him outside.

He’d barely returned to the kitchen when there was a knock at the door. He swung it open to reveal an apologetic looking Rich.

“You guys drove me here. Think I could get a ride home?”

Michael sighed. “Let me get my shoes.”

Jeremy ran upstairs to get his own shoes while Michael and Rich went out to the car.

“I can’t believe it. You’re gay for Heere.” Rich cackled.

“I’m not.” Michael insisted.

“I was totally right the whole time. You _do_ want to be his boyfriend.”

“I don’t!”

“You so do.” Rich leaned against the side of the car while Michael unlocked it. “You’re not a good actor Michael.”

“Rich.” He hissed.

Rich ignored him. “Do you prefer boyf or riend?”

“ _RICH._ ” Michael pleaded.

The front door swung shut and Jeremy jogged over to them. “Ready.”

The drive to Rich’s was extremely awkward for Michael who had to endure Rich’s relentless winking in his rear-view mirror.

They pulled into the driveway and Michael was glad to kick Rich out.

“Hey I was thinking.” Jeremy said before Rich shut the door. “Us three and Jake should go bowling this weekend. They’re doing a discount tomorrow.”

“Just the four of us?” Rich looked delighted as he glanced at Michael. “Sounds great!”

He shut the door before Michael could protest. Michael rolled down the window.

“Don’t forget to call Jake back!” He yelled.

Rich flipped him off as he walked up the driveway.

“What the hell was that?” Michael turned to Jeremy. Jeremy blinked.

“I was just… trying to set them up. It was _your_ idea.”

Oh. Right. “Right. Yeah. Good plan.” Michael mentally slammed his head into his steering wheel the whole ride home.

“How long you staying?” Michael asked as they returned to the basement.

“I dunno. When do your moms come home?”

“Tomorrow.”

“Probably till tomorrow then.” Jeremy started rummaging through Michael’s game collection like he lived there. Which, he practically did.

“I’ll go get drinks.” Michael offered. He walked into the kitchen and took a few minutes to breathe deeply. His crush on Jeremy was old news. But it had always been a secret that no one else knew. It wasn’t like Michael had _other_ friends he could tell. But Rich’s teasing made it feel new all over again. And now there was a much bigger chance Jeremy would find out. Still, Michael had never had anyone to talk about his feelings for Jeremy with. And maybe it would be nice to have that. But he wasn’t entirely sure it would be nice to talk about with Rich specifically.

He pulled out his phone and texted the number Rich had given them before the party.

**Michael: hey I know u love being obnoxious but please don’t let Jeremy find out about… u know**

**Rich: so u admit it!**

**Michael: Rich!**

**Rich: relax bro I’m not gonna tell anyone.**

**Rich: We’re in the same boat u kno, crushing on r best friends. We gotta look out for each other ;)**

**Michael: right**

Michael hadn’t thought about it that way. They were in very similar situations. Although, Rich had gone through much more drastic measures to achieve the status of best friend that Michael had held from kindergarten. But still, they understood each other.

This realization made Michael feel a little guilty about his meddling plans. He knew he’d be pissed if Rich was trying to set him and Jeremy up. But he also knew if he could just get Rich to realize that Jake obviously liked him too, everything would work out fine.


	6. A PLATONIC Double Date

They met the next day at the bowling alley around 3. Jake waved as he stepped out of his car.

“Hey guys,” He and Rich made their way to the front door where Michael and Jeremy were waiting. “Thanks for inviting me. I don’t usually do this kinda stuff but Rich sounded excited so I figured I’d give it a shot.”

Michael smirked in Rich’s direction and Rich shot him a glare in return.

“No problem. Let’s go.” They paid and made their way over to their lane.

Rich went about entering the names. Soon, Rich, Jakey D, Mikey, and J Man were projected on the screen above the blank score sheet.

“J man?” Jeremy looked disgusted.

“I like it.” Michael laughed.

Rich snickered. “You would.”

Jeremy was (unsurprisingly) terrible at bowling. Jake was (unsurprisingly) amazing at bowling. He kicked all of their asses. Michael and Rich were both very average at bowling but neither of them were paying any attention to the scores. They were too busy kicking each other under the table and loudly coughing to interrupt each other.

“So Jake,” Michael said, dropping into his seat. “How come you and Rich never talked freshman year?”

Rich was digging his nails into Michael’s arm under the table.

“I don’t know.” Jake frowned. “I guess I just didn’t know how to start a conversation. I always thought about it though.” His cheeks darkened slightly.

Rich suddenly stopped hurting Michael. “Really?”

“Yeah. You seemed really cool.” Jake shrugged. “I just didn’t know what to say to you.”

“Rich you’re up.” Jeremy returned to the table.

Rich stood up stiffly, his eyes were wide and his cheeks were red.

By the time he finished his turn he had returned to his normal color and had a smile that made Michael uneasy. He switched spots with Jake. Michael could tell from the look in his eye that Rich was about to get his revenge.

“Jeremy, I just want to sincerely apologize for making all those comments about you and Michael being boyfriends. I know that was totally uncool of me. I mean, you wouldn’t date Michael in a million years, right?”

“Ouch.” Michael was taken aback and honestly, a little hurt by that.

“Shut up.” Jeremy nudged him. “I would be so lucky to date you. You’re like, the best person I’ve ever met.” He laughed. “But yeah I mean, don’t worry about it. People always think we’re dating it’s no big deal.”

Michael got up to bowl, feeling slightly like he was floating. Despite the fact that that he could see Rich’s smirk in his mind.

Jake won by a mile. But nobody really cared. They returned their shoes and crowded into a booth at the fast food place next door.

“You know,” Jake said, shoving fries into his mouth. “I never really noticed you guys before, but you’re really cool. We should hang out more.”

“You think _we’re_ cool?” Jeremy practically had stars in his eyes.

“Sure.” Jake smiled.

Jeremy grinned and nudged Michael. “We’re cool.” He whispered.

“I heard.” Michael laughed.

“Oh shit.” Rich glanced at the clock. “I gotta get home or my dad’s gonna be pissed.”

Jake suddenly looked tense. He clenched his jaw. “You sure you don’t just want to stay at my house?”

“No. I should go. If I stay over, he’ll just get mad.” Rich dropped his head. He looked embarrassed.

Jake put a hand on his shoulder. “I’ll take you home.”

They waved and departed. Jeremy and Michael were left feeling confused.

**Michael: hey I kno we’re not like bffs or anything but I just wanted to see if you were ok. I get if you don’t want to talk about it**

**Rich: I’m okay. Thanks Michael**

**Michael: alright. Just so you know, jer and I are here if you ever wanna talk**

**Rich: you guys free on wednesday?**

**Michael: yeah**


	7. Secrets and Dancing

The four boys were seated in a circle in Michael’s basement. It reminded Michael of the first time they had Rich over.

Jake was there for moral support. Rich said he was the only person who knew. Michael still wasn’t sure what it was that he knew.

“My mom died when I was really young.” Rich started. “Like three or four. We were in a car accident together and she didn’t make it out. I don’t really remember her. My dad, well he sort of lost it when she died, started drinking a lot. He resented me for getting to live while she didn’t. He’s never forgiven me for not…” He took a shaky breath. Jake squeezed his shoulder lightly. “He’s never forgiven me for getting to live when she didn’t.”

“Jesus.” Jeremy frowned. “That’s horrible.”

“Why don’t you leave?” Michael asked. “I mean, we could help you. You could stay with-”

“I’ve offered a million times.” Jake cut in, looking annoyed. Not at Michael, just in general. “He won’t go.”

“He’s my dad.” Rich whispered.

“He’s an abusive asshole!” Jake clenched his jaw.

“He’s not!” Rich shook his head, looking to Michael and Jeremy. “He hasn’t hit me in years! And it was only ever once.”

“That’s too many times.” Jake grumbled.

“It was my fault both times.” Rich shook his head.

“Fuck that!” Jeremy yelled, shocking everyone. “I don’t know what happened but nothing a kid does warrants their parent hitting them.”

“Jeremy’s right.” Michael nodded, frowning. “None of this is your fault.”

Rich blinked. “I- look it’s not a big deal.”

“Bullshit.” Jake said under his breath.

“It’s not-” Rich’s voice cracked. “He’s my only family and I- I need a minute.” He said angrily.

Michael pointed him to the bathroom and he rushed out of the room.

“It hasn’t been years.” Jake stared at the floor. “He showed up at my house two months ago at midnight with a black eye.”

“Holy shit.” Michael whispered.

“I don’t know why he won’t leave.” Jake shook his head.

They didn’t talk about it after that day. But both Michael and Jeremy noticed that Rich seemed happier knowing that they were there for him.

Michael was still going full speed with his plan to get Jake and Rich together. Even Jeremy was fully on board now. It was too easy to see that Rich’s feelings were reciprocated. Jake was so obviously into the new (technically old) Rich. They had always been close, but Jake had never been so soft and gooey around Rich. Now though, he giggled at Rich’s goofy antics and Michael caught him staring at Rich with a soft dopey smile more than a few times.

So when Jeremy presented Michael with a poster for a concert in the park happening during the upcoming weekend, Michael knew it would be perfect.

“Hey guys!” Michael joined Rich, Jake, and Chloe at Rich’s locker. “I just heard about this concert that they’re doing in the park on Saturday. Me and Jeremy were thinking about going. You wanna come with?”

“Boring.” Chloe rolled her eyes. “I’m out.”

“That sounds fun.” Jake shrugged. “Rich you down?”

“Uh,” Rich was glaring at Michael but his gaze softened when he looked up at Jake. “Sure. I guess.”

So they met at Jeremy’s house on Saturday at 5 and Michael drove them to the park. His plan was to make this as romantic as possible. There was food, a big picnic blanket, and of course, music. They settled down to eat while the first band took the stage. It was a warm night and they laughed and talked as the music played around them.

Finally, Michael stood up, rolled his shoulders, and held his hand out to Jeremy.

“Let’s dance.”

Blood rushed to Jeremy’s face. “Um.”

“Come on.” Michael grabbed his arms and hauled him to his feet. He dragged Jeremy off the blanket and laced their fingers together, ignoring his own steadily growing blush. He spun them around the grass. Jeremy quickly stopped fighting him and started laughing.

Michael caught Jake’s eye over Jeremy’s shoulder and nodded toward Rich. To his surprise, Jake stood up and held his hand out to Rich. Rich stammered for a minute before taking his hand and letting Jake whirl him around too.

The boys danced until their feet ached. After a few songs a pretty girl asked to dance with Jeremy. Michael stepped back and let her cut in. He bumped into someone as he was moving out of their way.

“Oh sorry.” He spun around. A very tall, very handsome guy grabbed his arm to steady him.

“It’s alright.” The guy smiled. “Maybe you can make it up to me with a dance? If your boyfriend doesn’t mind.”

Michael blushed. “He’s not my boyfriend.”

“Then?”

“Uh,” Michael glanced at Jeremy. He seemed to be having fun. At least he wasn’t begging Michael to save him with his eyes. So Michael shrugged. “Sure why not?”

The guy put his hands on Michael’s hips and swayed them to the beat.

“I’m Damien.” He said over the music.

“Michael.”

They danced in silence for a while. It honestly, wasn’t too bad. After a song and a half Damien spoke again.

“So if he’s not your boyfriend, you’re single?”

“Uh,” Michael frowned. “Yeah?”

“Would you like to grab lunch sometime, Michael?”

“Oh.” Michael flushed and cast a glance back at Jeremy. All three of his friends were seated once again. And they were all staring at him. “No. I’m sorry!” Michael turned back to face Damien. “I’m just kinda hung up on someone right now.”

“The one you were dancing with?” Damien smiled easily; he didn’t look upset.

“Yeah.”

“Well, if it makes you feel better,” He leaned in to whisper in Michael’s ear. “He hasn’t stopped staring since we started dancing. And now he looks absolutely murderous.” He winked and twirled Michael as the song came to a close. “Thanks for the dance.” He kissed the back of Michael’s hand and started back toward his group. Michael stared after him for a second before returning to the blanket.

“Got a new boyfriend?” Jake asked as Michael sat down.

“No.”

“No?” Rich plastered the fakest sincere look he could on his face. “Why ever not?”

“I just wasn’t into him.” Michael shrugged, pointedly not looking at Jeremy.

“Mm.” Rich nodded. “Why not? Wait no lemme guess. He was too tall. His hair was too long. He wasn’t geeky enough. Oh I know! His name wasn’t J- OOF.” Rich groaned as Michael punched his arm.

Michael didn’t expect Jake to laugh but he did. “Seriously though,” He cocked his head. “Why didn’t you shoot your shot man?”

“I don’t know!” Michael threw his hands up. “Stop grilling me damn.”

“Come on Michael, why not?”

“Yeah come on baby.” Jeremy said.

Rich’s eyebrows shot up, obviously misinterpreting the word.

“He thinks I’m a baby because I don’t tell guys how I feel when I like them.” Michael rushed to explain. Rich didn’t look convinced.

“He is.” Jeremy said with a hint of bitterness in his voice. He was oblivious to the silent conversation happening beside him. “He’s never told anyone he likes them, like ever.”

“Well maybe we should change that.” Rich wiggled his eyebrows.

Michael was about to scream at Rich to cut it out but to his surprise (and undying gratitude) Jake beat him to it.

“Rich knock it off. You’re no better.”

“What?” Rich squawked.

The next song drowned out his argument and the group fell into comfortable silence as they swayed to the music.

The concert ended a short while later. Jake announced he had to pee and would meet them by the car. The other three boys began to pack up their things.

As soon as Jake was out of earshot Jeremy and Michael began pestering Rich.

“Dude seriously, just ask him out.” Michael begged.

“He’s so obviously into you.” Jeremy added. Michael nodded enthusiastically, partly because he wanted to support the point and partly because he was just glad the attention was off him.

“Seriously. I mean, he asked you to dance and then proceeded to dance with you for like two hours man.”

“Oh?” Rich turned to Michael with a huge grin that made Michael’s stomach churn. “Well, you asked _Jeremy_ to dance.” He rose up onto his toes to match Michael’s eye level. “Does that mean _you_ l-”

“THAT,” Michael nearly screamed over him. “Was just so Jake wouldn’t feel so awkward asking you!”

“Uh huh.” Rich lifted the picnic basket so Jeremy could begin folding the blanket. “Sure.”

“The point is,” Michael grabbed Rich’s shoulders and leaned in. “He likes you.”

“Seriously,” Jeremy dropped the now folded blanket on the grass. “How could you be so oblivious?”

Michael froze, hands still gripping Rich’s shoulders. He tried very hard not to display any emotion on his face. Rich, despite all his effort to keep himself composed, looked like he was two seconds away from laughing.

“What’s going on?” Jake asked, returning at the perfect moment.

“Nothing.” Michael dropped his hands, picked up the blanket, and marched off toward the car. He heard Rich’s laughter echo around the quickly emptying park.


	8. Switching Tactics

On account of Rich’s recent behavior, Michael was seriously reconsidering his plot to help him find love. But unfortunately, Jake was too sweet and Michael didn’t know how much more sad puppy love staring he could take.

“So what are you gonna do next?” Jeremy asked when Michael voiced his annoyance at their friends’ obliviousness.

“When all else fails,” He held up his phone, displaying the text about Jake’s upcoming party. “Alcohol.”

Jake’s parties were known for being ragers. So they knew there would be no shortage of alcohol. And Michael figured that would be the perfect catalyst for these two dopes to admit their feelings.

They arrived late, as always. It wasn’t necessarily a fashionably late. More of a, the later we show up, the less time we have to be there kind of late.

And when they did arrive, Michael was pleased to see that Rich and Jake were more than a little buzzed.

“Hey guys!” Michael waved and promptly pulled Rich aside. “Rich. How you doing?”

“Grrrreat.” Rich smiled. His eyes were red and sort of distant.

“Awesome. You know, this would be a good time to talk to Jake about your feelings.”

Rich’s eyes cleared as he focused on Michael’s face and frowned. “Michael I’m not that high. You make it obvious that I like him and I will personally deliver a hand-written note to Jeremy about every single time I’ve seen you drooling over him. Got it?”

So Rich was a little more sober than he thought.

“Got it.” Michael squeaked.

“Good.” Rich’s smile returned. “Enjoy the party.”

Jeremy filled the space that Rich left.

“Well?”

“He’s still pretty sober. He said we can’t meddle tonight.”

“Screw it let’s do it anyway.” Jeremy laughed.

“No!” Michael yelled, grabbing Jeremy’s arm to stop him from walking toward Rich. Jeremy raised his eyebrows. Michael dropped his hands. “Um, I mean, he seemed pretty serious. Maybe we should drop it.”

“Or,” Jeremy’s eyes wandered across the room to where Jake was doing shots with Chloe. “We try the other side. I mean think about it. We know Rich is stubborn. But Jake, we _know_ he’s like ridiculously into Rich. And we also know he’s had three shots just since we’ve been here. Maybe he’d be easier to nudge.”

Michael hesitated. He hadn’t known Rich _that_ long but it was long enough to know that he was absolutely not kidding about writing that letter to Jeremy. But he also knew that Jake _did_ like him. And the only thing Rich was afraid of was Jake _not_ liking him. And as much as the idea of Rich finding out they were talking to Jake about him terrified Michael, he wanted them to resolve this. So he took a deep breath and waved Jake over.

“What’s up guys?” Jake grinned.

“Not much.” Jeremy was acting a lot cooler than Michael felt he should. Then again, maybe this wasn’t so nerve wracking when you weren’t aware that a 12-year friendship and a lifetime of embarrassment and regret were on the line. “You seen Rich?”

“Uh,” Jake glanced around. “Not recently. Why?”

Jeremy shrugged. “Just thought you guys were kinda glued at the hip.”

Jake laughed at that. “Yeah I mean, you guys are too though.” Suddenly something clicked in Jake’s brain and he looked at them with wide eyes. “You know. Oh my god of course _you_ know.”

“Huh?” Michael frowned.

“You know I like him. Rich.”

“Oh.” Michael glanced at Jeremy who looked just as lost. “Uh, well yeah.”

“You know because _you_ …” He cut himself off, glancing at Jeremy. “Uh, never mind. Anyway…”

Michael suddenly understood what Jake had realized. Michael knew that Jake liked Rich because Michael acted the same way around Jeremy. Which meant that Jake knew Michael liked Jeremy. Which meant that Rich told him. Michael made a mental note to pour a drink on Rich’s head later. But he also said a silent thank you to the universe that Jake was still sober enough to be somewhat discreet in front of Jeremy.

“Anyway,” Jeremy continued for him. “We think you should go talk to him.”

“Really?” Jake looked over, eyes finally landing on Rich who was on the couch. “I mean… it’s Rich you know? He’s like, my bro. I feel like it’s not a good idea.”

“It is a good idea!” Michael nodded, shoving him lightly toward the couch. “It’ll turn out great.”

“Okay.” Jake nodded. “Thanks guys.” And he walked over and sat beside Rich.

Michael stared after him in disbelief.

“Just like that?” Jeremy asked.

“Just like that.”

Jake plopped down beside his friend and started talking. Rich was laughing. It didn’t seem to be a confession. Michael and Jeremy were leaning against the wall pretending not to watch, but the music was far too loud for them to hear anything.

“Come on.” Michael tugged Jeremy along the wall to get closer. He didn’t risk Jeremy finding out about his feelings just to miss the result of all their hard work.

Jake leaned down and whispered something in Rich’s ear. Rich looked up at him wide eyed. He leaned back and shook his head. Michael inched closer.

“You… you’re drunk.” Rich swallowed.

“Yeah so? I like you when I’m sober too.” Jake responded. He brushed his thumb across Rich’s cheek and then bent down and kissed him. It was fast. Michael could see Rich’s brain still registering what happened. Then, Rich grabbed Jake’s collar and dragged him back down, kissing him hard.

Michael turned away, not enthused about watching his friends make out, and found himself nearly nose to nose with Jeremy who flushed but didn’t step back.

“Well,” Michael rocked back on his heels. “We did it.”

“Yep.” Jeremy nodded. “We sure did.”

“No more going on fake double dates.” Michael forced a laugh.

“Nope.” Jeremy joined in the awkward laughter. “Guess we’re better at relationships than we thought.” He leaned around Michael to see Rich and Jake who were now holding hands and talking quietly.

“Guess so.” Michael sighed, not taking his eyes off of Jeremy.


	9. Consequences

Michael was excited as he walked into school on Monday. He hadn’t talked to Rich since the party since they’d all been too hung over to do anything besides sleep on Sunday, but he skipped up to him at his locker on Monday morning.

“Hey, congrats on the new boyfriend.” He grinned. Jeremy poked Rich in the side.

Rich slammed his locker. “He doesn’t remember.”

“What?”

“He was wasted. He doesn’t remember kissing me. He doesn’t remember any of it.” Rich growled.

“Okay,” Jeremy held his hands up. “But you know he likes you now, right? So you can tell him.”

“Seriously?” Rich looked incredulous. “You want to torture me more? Fine. You win. Jake!” He waved Jake over.

“Wait, now?” Michael started backing away.

“Now.” Rich said. Jake nodded as he walked up. “Jake, I have to tell you something.”

“What’s up?”

“Rich-” Michael desperately did not want to be here for this. Jeremy was gripping Michael’s arm tightly and looking like he was going to puke.

“I have feelings for you.” Rich said. All four of them fell into silence.

“Oh.” Jake glanced at Michael and Jeremy briefly. Neither of them were breathing. “I’m really sorry.”

Bad sign. Rich deflated. Michael wanted to punch himself. Jeremy was staring at the floor like he hoped it would open up and swallow him.

“I mean,” Jake continued. “You’re my best friend. But I just don’t… see you that way. I’m sorry.” He turned and walked down the hall to his locker. Rich didn’t move.

“Rich.” Michael said softly. “I am _so_ sorry. You can absolutely tell J-”

“HA!” Rich screamed. Both boys jumped. “Got you bitches! That’s what you get for meddling!”

Jake ambled back over.

Jeremy looked back and forth between them. “ _What_?”

“He wasn’t that drunk.” Rich intertwined his fingers with Jake’s. “We talked yesterday and I made that bitch my boyfriend.”

Jake rolled his eyes affectionately.

“Oh my god Rich!” Michael shoved him. “I almost had a heart attack you asshole!”

Rich laughed.

“Jake you were in on this?” Jeremy looked offended.

“He made me.” Jake held up his hands.

“I told him you guys kept trying to make me confess and he easily agreed.” Rich corrected.

The bell rang.

“Welp,” Rich waved and pulled Jake down the hall. “See you gays later!”

Michael fumed all the way to first period. His phone buzzed.

**Rich: ur so lucky I stopped u before you told Jeremy right there in the hallway lol**

**Michael: fuck off**

**Michael: but thanks ig**

**Rich: <3**

**Rich: jake wants us to go to lunch this weekend to ‘thank’ u guys for encouraging him to make a move or whatever. Down?**

**Michael: sure. But ur paying u rat**

**Rich: we’ll discuss that later. C u there.**

At lunch Rich bounded up to Michael and Jeremy, smiling wide.

“We have an announcement.” They didn’t have to ask who ‘we’ was. The implied Jake was clear.

“If it’s that you’re dating we already know.” Jeremy rolled his eyes.

“It’s not that.”

“If it’s something about how hot Jake is, we don’t _want_ to know.” Michael wrinkled his nose.

“Shut up!” Rich hit him. “This is serious.”

“Okay.” Michael held up is hands. “I’ll bite. What is your announcement?”

“Well since Jake and I are dating now,” Jeremy and Michael both groaned. Rich hurried on. “We decided that maybe it would be good if I stayed with him for a while. Like… at his house.”

The boys instantly dropped their teasing tones and smiled sincerely.

“Rich,” Michael put an arm around him and hugged him. “That’s really great.”

“Seriously.” Jeremy nodded. “I’m really happy for you.”

“Thanks guys.” Rich grinned. He looked down the hall and brightened even more. “Here comes my new roommate.” He ducked out from under Michael’s arm and raced toward his boyfriend.


	10. The Truth Comes Out

Michael was not excited in any way to spend _more_ time with Rich and Jeremy together. But he also absolutely wanted Rich to pay for his food. So, they went to lunch.

They were sat at a booth in an almost nice fast food place. Jake’s arm was around Rich and Rich kept smiling at him when he wasn’t looking. It was all very disgusting to Michael who was trying to _eat_ with his _platonic_ best friend.

Apparently, Rich said something adorable (Michael was zoning out hard so he missed it) because Jake got the biggest smile on his face and leaned down to kiss him.

“Gross.” Jeremy muttered and Michael laughed.

“Man,” Jake said as he leaned back. “Who would’ve thought trying to get those dorks together would’ve ended up in us getting together huh?”

Rich’s eyes widened and Jake suddenly clamped his hand over his mouth. Rich looked from Jake to Michael and back again several times. Michael couldn’t tell if his pained expression was from holding in a laugh or a scream.

“What?” Jeremy managed to choke after what felt like several minutes of uncomfortable silence.

Jake sighed. “Alright. Look, we’ve been trying to get you guys together these past few weeks. That’s why we did all those date things.”

“No.” Michael shook his head. “ _We_ planned all of those to get _you_ guys together. They were all our ideas.”

“I hate to break it to you, but he’s right babe.” Rich looked apologetic. Though, Michael was very annoyed to see that the look was directed at Jake. “I mean that was _their_ plan but I figured we could flip it on them, two birds one stone you know? Plus, I never thought this was going to happen anyway.” He gestured to him and Jake.

“Rich can I speak to you in private?” Michael said through gritted teeth.

“Uh, no?” Rich smiled weakly.

“ ** _Rich_**.” He stood up. Rich sighed and followed him out the door.

Michael punched Rich’s arm hard.

“You were trying to set us up? I’ll kill you!”

“I’m sorry!” Rich dodged Michael’s second swing. “To be fair I was never going to tell you. That was Jake’s fault. And he didn’t know you actually liked Jeremy. He was just assuming.”

“Rich you promised you wouldn’t interfere!”

“So did you.” Rich countered.

“That’s different! I knew Jake liked you! And Jeremy and I have been friends a lot longer than you two have!”

“Okay first of all,” Rich huffed. “If you’ve been friends longer than you should trust that Jeremy wouldn’t just ditch you because you like him. Even though he definitely likes you back. And _second_ you did _not_ know that Jake liked me! You assumed.”

“No we didn’t!” Michael nearly screamed. “He told us! He told us at the party that he liked you all we did was encourage him to go talk to you!”

Rich’s face paled. “Oh. Shit. Look, I’m sorry Michael okay? I didn’t think Jake would bring it up.”

“I’m going to let you live because we are in public. But I swear to god,” Michael leaned in. “I’m going to kick your ass someday.”

“You wouldn’t.” Rich grinned but Michael saw a tiny bit of fear in his eyes.

They returned to the table and everyone sat in total silence for nearly a minute before Jake coughed.

“So, everyone ready to go?”

“Yep.” Michael stood up immediately.

They walked silently to their cars. Jeremy silently got in the passenger seat of Michael’s and they drove silently back to Jeremy’s house.

Because of fucking course, they had decided to have a sleepover.

“Hungry?” Jeremy asked as they walked through the door.

“We just ate.” Michael reminded him.

“Oh.” Jeremy nodded. “Right.”

“Your dad working?” Michael asked, just to have something to say. He knew the answer.

“Yep.”

Michael nodded.

Finally Jeremy addressed the elephant in the room. “It’s crazy isn’t it?” He asked. “Them trying to set us up?”

“Crazy.” Michael repeated.

“I mean,” He laughed nervously. “Why us right?”

Michael sighed. At least Jeremy wouldn’t be able to call him a baby anymore. “Probably because I told Rich I like you.”

“What?” Jeremy spun around to gawk at him. “Why… why would you do that?”

“Because… l like you?” Michael shrugged. He didn’t feel as embarrassed as he should. It just felt good to get it over with. Now they could move on.

“You…” Jeremy stammered for a minute. “Huh.”

“Yep.”

“That’s funny.” Jeremy said.

“Gee thanks.” Michael started towards the door. _Now_ he felt embarrassed.

“No!” Jeremy grabbed his arm to stop him. “Not like that. I just meant um, I thought it was because… um… I told Jake that I liked _you_.” He blushed.

“You did?” Michael froze.

“I did.”

“Well…” Michael’s mind went completely blank. All he could hear was Jeremy repeating ‘I like you’ on an endless loop. “That’s good.”

“Yep.”

“Hey Jer?”

“Yes?”

“Do you want to go on a date with me? Maybe without Rich and Jake this time?” Michael asked, finally forcing himself to look over at Jeremy.

“You mean one where we can’t pretend we’re just doing it for them?” Jeremy smiled slightly.

“That is what I mean.”

“Yes I would.”

There was a moment of silence and then Michael started laughing, prompting Jeremy to break too. Michael crossed the room and wrapped his arms around Jeremy.

“We’re so dumb.” He whispered.

“So _so_ dumb.” Jeremy nodded. “But at least we’re dumb together.”


End file.
